Coming to Terms with the Death of a Loved One

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Coming to terms with the death of a loved one is naturally very challenging. We are only human, so of course we will feel this way, but we should try to focus on having the correct mindset in this process based on the teachings of our faith. We read in the Holy Qur’an:

“Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return.” (Qur’an 2:156)

We must remind ourselves that this life is temporary. Unlike the life of the Hereafter, it was not created to be everlasting. Therefore, whenever we feel lost or confused about what has happened, we should remind ourselves of this life’s ephemeral nature. Nothing in this world will last, whether we are talking about our happiness or our hardships.

Grief should be a reminder to use the precious time that we still have left in this life and not to waste it. We should think carefully about what to spend our time doing. For example, maybe we need to be giving more charity and we didn’t realise this before, or perhaps we will want to start volunteering and helping out in the community more.

Through the sadness and grief, we find a chance to reflect on our lives. We are given a chance to assess our connection with Allah and improve ourselves as believers. Perhaps we will plan to engage in worship for longer amounts of time than we usually would, in order to please Allah. We start to think about the fact that we will all leave this world one day. Allah says in the Holy Qur’an:

“Every soul will taste death.” (Qur’an 3:185)

We are also pushed to think about what we are attached to in this life. We may feel for our loved ones, but we should not be attached to them, anyone else, or anything of this worldly life. We believe that one day we will lose possession of these things, so developing attachments will be harmful for us. From these reflections, we become stronger believers and we will be able to face future losses with more courage.

When we feel low because of who we have lost, we realise that we only truly have Allah to turn to, as He is the One who was, is, and will always be with us. Therefore, this test of loss should make us feel more dependent on, as well as closer to, our Lord.

Our minds may wonder about our loved one even after they have left us. We may think about what state they are in, and we may start to think more about the Hereafter. This way of thinking will encourage us to keep the Hereafter in our minds more regularly, which is better for us as we will be more conscious of our deeds. We read in the Holy Qur’an:

“And the Hereafter is better for you than the first [life].” (Qur’an 93:4)