Facing bad behavior from members of your family?
Whether you like it or not, bad behavior is everywhere in society. It is certain that at some point in your life you will encounter a challenging person and you need to find a way to deal with them.
In some cases, your family members may be treating you badly. What do you do in this case? Would you treat them just as badly? Or will you patiently try to change their behavior in some way? From an Islamic point of view, you can never treat them badly, even if they treat you badly.
Today’s article discusses how to deal with this situation.
Good behavior vs bad behavior with family
In Islam, the family is like a mirror. The glorious teachings and ideals of Islam are reflected in this mirror. As a result, peace and love prevail. So how can there be peace in the family if you do not know the guidelines of the Quran and Sunnah on how to behave in family life?
The first direction of Islam in building a family is to live with every member of the family in a just and peaceful manner. Allah says,
“And live with them in peace.” (4:19)
The family will become an address of peace if its members perform the duties of speaking and doing well, always sharing the joy and entertainment with others. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “The one among you who has the most beautiful character is the one who has perfect faith. And the best of you is the one who is better to his wife. ” (Tirmidhi)
If someone dislikes any behavior, there must be some aspect that he likes. So the Prophet (peace be upon him) said,
“No believing man should be angry with a believing woman. If he dislikes any behavior, he will be satisfied with the other behaviors. ” (Muslim)
Therefore, his other qualities should not be overshadowed by the slightest misconduct of anyone in the family.
Strong faith and honest behavior strengthen the foundation of the family and create love and affection among all.
However, if someone in the family behaves badly, then how to treat him is discussed below:
Acceptance of bad behavior
Accept them as they behave. This applies not only to family members but also to people of all hard natures. If you try to correct a person with a difficult nature by your own efforts, it can be the opposite. Even if he treats you harshly, you treat him with humility. Repeatedly, if you continue to treat him with humility, his heart may melt at some point. Learn from the humble behavior of the Prophet (peace be upon him). Ayesha (Ra) said about him, “The Prophet never took revenge on anyone for his own sake (rather, he would forgive everyone).”
Refrain from getting angry
Hard-hearted people are always angry, talkative, and hurt others. Even if you are bothered by his behavior, to avoid quarreling, you should be patient with him and treat him politely, speak slowly. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “I am taking charge of a house on the edge of the Paradise for those who abandon the quarrel even if they are on the right path.”
At least try to remember this precious hadith and refrain from being angry and quarreling with him.
Is bad behavior a way to express themselves
Let them express their views completely without any obstacles/disputes/problems. Why do they feel criticized by others? Do people misunderstand them? What do they expect from others? Ask yourself these questions and try to find the answers yourself. If he is given the opportunity to express all his views freely, if he is adopted even after his abuse, it will undoubtedly help to change his disposition.
May Allah make it easy for you.