Getting a divorce? How to break the news to your kids?

Family 26 Apr 2021 Yara Lotfy
Opinion
Getting a divorce
Photo : Dreamstime

Getting a divorce is one of the most difficult decisions to take, especially when you have kids. Talking about divorce or getting separation from your kids is one of the most painful conversations you might experience. It is crucial for your kids to be aware of their parent’s decisions ahead of time. Imagine your kids figuring out by themselves from someone else, it won’t be a good idea. This conversation will resonate in their minds forever, so you and your husband should be well prepared for such a step. But bear in mind that divorce doesn’t always separate parents and ignite a feeling of enmity. In case you’re wondering how to inform your kids of such a decision, read on.

Here are some of the ways to do so:

Getting a Divorce: Plan ahead

Think of the how, the when, and what you’re going to share your divorce decision with your kids. Regarding the when choose the right timing such as on the weekend. Avoid telling your kids holidays, before school or bedtime. You and your partner should do this together, even if it feels hard. Your kids need to see you committed until the last minute. Getting a divorce is not positive news to share, but both parents will have to talk about it to the kids.

What to say when you are getting a divorce?

When most parents are getting a divorce, they tend to put the blame on one another. But telling the full truth in this situation is not a good idea. Avoid any kind of temptation or accusation between you and your partner. This is crucial because your kids will eventually feel lost in a battle between two blocks. Rather, it is better to choose an appropriate reason that doesn’t show your kids that you hate one another. When getting a divorce, it is advised to use a “we” more frequently in your argument.

The aftermath effect

It is important to make it clear to your kids how getting a divorce is going to affect their life. They should know with whom they are going to live, where, and for how long. Be honest and prepared to explain in detail what things in their lives are going to be changed. Set a schedule with your partner and share it with your kids. Reassure them that certain things are going to remain the same, such as their school, house, friends, etc.

Give them time

Your kids’ reactions vary according to their age. However, you need to be ready to adjust to how they are going to react. Some would be angry and expressive, while others could shut down and feel detached. It is crucial to keep your emotions calm when sharing your decision with your kids. It will put them at ease and less anxious while receiving your words. They might take longer to adjust to new circumstances, therefore, be patient and reassure them that things are going to be better in the near future. Don’t forget to always be present for any questions or concerns. Be responsive and honest as much as you can in your answers.

 

(Written by Yara Lotfy)