How to raise a confident and disciplined child?

Family Contributor
Naseeha inspired
Muslim man and kid praying at Mosque © Muhammad Annurmal |

Dear parents, what is your point of view about how to make your children obedient and how to improve their upbringing?

I think your point of view about disciplined and obedient child is the one that obey rules and restrictions without any protest.

Dear parents you are right about definition of discipline, but absolutely wrong, if you are going to apply it on your child.

A disciplined and obedient child needs a kind mentor, guidance, and comfort zone with their parents as to share their mistakes and problems without hesitation. In simple, instead of shouting at them embrace them with your smile.

In this article, you will find thirteen easy guidelines that will help you out in your child upbringing only if you observe and act upon these tricky tips.

First: Be a good role model

You are a role model for your child. Your children observe all your actions, behavior, kindness, morals, anger, and forgiveness. Hence they notice all your good and bad deeds and they are very passionate to follow their role model so; if you wish your child’s good behavior you too need to be fair in your deals.

Second: Motivate your children

When you appreciate your children on their good deeds they become more confident. And that self-confidence helps them to avoid bad habits.

Third: Train your child how to move in society

Guide your child to the right path, to adopt good social manners from a very younger age so as he will consume less effort when he gets older. So, from very beginning teach him to take permission before entering other’s room. In case of any getting favor say “Jazaak Allahu Khayran(May Allah reward you), be loving to your parents and respectful to your relatives , help out your mother in her responsibilities. Once you put your child on the right path from the beginning you will get better output when he gets elder.

Fourth: Empower your child according to his age

Encourage independence of your child it will help him a lot in future. Make your child enough confident that he must take his decisions by himself starting from his clothes’ selection and other useful things. The child having authority will try to behave well and control himself too.

Fifth: Give them responsibilities

Trust your child while giving them responsibility and make them feel that they can do better than you. However, by doing so your child will get encouraged and will try all his best to help out his father as well as look after household works. A child will never adopt bad behavior or feel failure if responsibilities are handed over to him at a young age.

Sixth: Catch their attention

Sometimes, when you talk to your children they are physically present but mentally absent. Therefore, you need to be more conscious in attracting their attention while you are talking to them. Talk to your child directly and explain your demands in very simple way that must be clear to them.

Seventh: Be polite while guiding them

Guide your child in a polite manner because they usually ignore your frustrated words. Correct their mistakes with a smile. Hence they will understand and obey your opinion.

Eight: Avoid strict limits and frowning method

Dear parents, if you think that your strict limitation will make your children obey you so I would say your this art of upbringing is of no use. Provide comfort zone to your children, spend more time with them and see the positive result.

Ninth: Smartly deal with your child wishes

Smartly deal with development of bad habits in your child. In case, if they are out of control while buying their toys and you think that they are becoming stubborn so kindly avoid accompanying him to toy store until he gets older.

Tenth: Set punishments

The best way to overcome your child bad behavior is to set punishments. For example, make them clear that, “you are not going for picnic until you finish your homework”. Hence in such way they will try all their best to be fair in their deals.

Eleventh: Give them time for relaxation

Make your rules and regulations flexible enough and give them time for relaxation so as they may not get bored with your rules. In this case the parents need to say that, “after completing your task, you may take some rest and we will go for outing as well.”

Twelfth: Reward your child on the basis of his good deeds

Reward your child in turn of his good behavior he will get more motivated. It is successful way of upbringing kids.

Thirteen: Put stress on principles

Set some rules and regulations that must be followed inside your family. In case of breaking rules take serious action. In this way, your child will recognize that you are serious. Show the right path and let him make his decisions under your observation.


(Written by freelance journalist Sadaf Riaz)