Let your children express their feelings and emotions openly
Heavy emotions like anger, sadness, and worry, are very hard to control. If we try to hide our feelings and emotions, they will weigh us down. Whenever our children burst into tears, we just want to stop them. So we try to apply all tricks to console them like Shh, It’s OK, stop crying now, I am not going to give you toys until you stop crying, etc.
Do you think these tactics work for the long term? These shushing and speaking make them cry even louder. They are not going to understand your explanation at that time, if you do so, they will become more frustrated. Let your children express their emotions, it will make them feel better.
Can we manage the feelings and emotions of our children?
Do not tend to stop the emotions of your children, let them express their anger, cry, and sadness. By doing so, our children will become lighter, cooperative, loving and that is what we want from our children.
If their feelings are suppressed, it can result in more anger, pity and things can get tasteless for them. Hiding feelings can result in anxiety and depression. Our aim must be to keep them in the middle range, where there is a bit of sparkle and fizz. When things get out of your control and you could not hold your cry, just let it out. You will be able to deal with any hard situations and will feel lighter.
The logic behind tears
Tears are of different types, sad tears, happy tears, and tears while cutting an onion. It is found that tears of sorrow and sadness have a stress hormone called “cortisol”. Those stress hormones effectively release when our children cry. When we prevent our children from crying, the stress hormones remain in them which are not good.
We have a brain science behind it. There are two types of brain the upper stairs and the downstairs brain. The downstairs brain holds long-term memory and emotions. And the upper stairs brain is concerned with short-term memory, rationale, and thinking. The downstairs brain switches off when it becomes flooded with emotions. When our tears are released, the downstairs brain will be clear and the upstairs brain will start working. That’s why we need to let our children cry and express their emotions.
It is ok to cry and to be upset
Why do we want to get rid of big feelings and emotions? By doing so we cannot see our children sad. We want them not to cry and feel happy all the time. When they start crying we take it very personally and we start consoling them. Our aim must be that it is not bad to cry, it is not bad to be upset or feeling down. It is healthy for us and is natural. Therefore if our children feel upset so let them express their emotions and support them through it.
(Written by freelancer Sadaf Riaz)