Marital relationship: Steps needed to preserve it
Like all other human relationships, a marital relationship is one that cannot be 100% perfect. This is not to be expected even in the case of intense love and peaceful marriage. According to experts, a successful and deep marital relationship requires hard work, strong commitment, constant monitoring, and evaluation of mutual expectations. Besides, it is important to take care of each other. Although it is easy to say, in reality, this work is very difficult.
Talking to various relation specialists and Muslim counselors, we pointed out some of the main reasons behind the divorce. Of course, various complex issues such as moral decay and drug addiction are responsible for divorce, but there are also some insignificant issues that are the top cause of divorce, which is surprising. Here are ten reasons and remedies.
1. Trying to change your partner
One major problem that most couples face is that they somehow dislike each other. From this dislike, one wants to change the other into a situation that is not possible. As a result of this mutual insistence, one becomes annoyed and dissatisfied with the other.
You can’t force your partner to change overnight and turn you into the new person you want. You can rather change yourself and change your partner’s small tasks to your liking gradually with empathy.
2. Conversation vs. Communication in a marital relationship
Communication is not the only way to communicate a complaint or criticism. Instead of complaining or criticizing, try to express your feelings in a positive way. It would rather protect the strength of your marital relationship.
Proper communication is not only about expressing one’s attitude to one’s partner but also about being aware of one’s partner’s attitude and being able to understand his feelings. If we can make it a habit to listen equally to what we say, our marital relationship will be largely spared.
3. Time management
Modern life is a combination of many pressures from different aspects. Many couples may not be able to cope with the stress.
Every couple needs to spend some time alone even if it is five minutes every day. It is a necessary tool to sustain a marital relationship. Their relationship needs to be evaluated on a daily basis to see if it has improved or deteriorated or is in the same position. All couples need a certain amount of time to evaluate their relationship on a daily basis. Strengthening the relationship between couples is established by spending time with each other.
4. Intimacy in a marital relationship
The lack of ‘intimacy’ is mainly due to the high incidence of divorce among Muslims. “Sex is just a small part of intimacy”. Basically, there should be a deeper relationship between husband and wife. Spiritual, mental, physical, emotional, etc., in all aspects of the connection between each other, is the main reason for the mutual intimacy between husband and wife. Most couples work hard to maintain this intimacy.
Achieving intimacy is not a goal for husband and wife, but it is an essential element of their long life together.
5. Aim at each other
Husbands and wives often change their attitudes toward each other after having children. The result is often a distance between themselves. Giving mutual attention to the child even after the child is born is important for maintaining the marital relationship.
Moreover, it is often seen that when we spend time among ourselves, instead of paying attention to our partner, we pay more attention to know new notifications on the screen of our smartphone. Such small habits are enough to destroy the strength of the relationship and, as a result, to sever the marital relationship.
6. Money, money, and money
Money is an important element in life. But now this turns to be an important reason behind the divorce. That relationship may last rather than the infidelity of the marital relationship, but money is acting as a big catalyst to ruin marital relationships around the world. The family of incapable men and women survives
rather long but when both husband and wife earn in the family, an unwritten competition starts between them as to who earns more. This competition leads to mutual quarrels and eventually divorce.
7. Marital relationship and forgiveness
The position of forgiveness is simple about the ease of mutual love. Failure to apologize to one’s partner for fear of losing one’s dignity for a mistake, and not being able to forgive one’s partner for even minor offenses, has a negative effect on the marital relationship. This practice of unforgiveness is a major cause of divorce in modern times.
8. Lack of appreciation
When the rate of mutual appreciation decreases, the conflict between each other increases. Lack of appreciation creates mutual distrust about marriage. But when two people evaluate their work 100% and appreciate the partner for good work, the chances of conflict between them are very low and their marital relationship will be saved from breaking up.
9. Emotional relationships
According to Islamic Care Line, a South African couple counseling agency, the advancement of modern information technology has led people to engage in a variety of virtual relationships in the virtual world. Many times people are getting closer to their partner about all this. As a result, the relationship between husband and wife is moving towards divorce.
This can be avoided completely if the person can share his feelings with his well-wishers and free himself from unwanted emotions through his counseling.
10. Conflict of power
The conflict of power between the married couple also led to their divorce. Husbands and wives try to influence each other and try to get their partner to behave in their own way.
If the importance of establishing one’s own opinion is more important than the relationship of love between oneself, then the relationship between husband and wife is no longer permanent and even if someone’s opinion is established, there is no more love.
Not all of the above problems work the same way, but they are generally seen as some of the major problems in divorce. We can be careful about these things in order to turn our relationship into a deep and loving bond.