Muslim family and the husband-wife equation

Family Tamalika Basu
Opinion
Muslim family
© Nakorn Vipattanaporn | Dreamstime.com

Islam is keen on showing the importance to the family’s head, the husband or the father. Within the Muslim family, the husband is the backbone responsible for its stability and harmony as well as security. By providing shelter, protection, financial support, and many more, the husband should be taken care of and respected in return. In case this didn’t take place, the absence of the father or his indifference can turn the family’s structure and internal affairs into a nightmare. Therefore, by following the Prophet’s interpersonal relationship with other: wife, children, relatives, etc. it is important for the wife to take care of hi. The wife should be responsible for his well-being. In this case, it is mandatory for the wife to amend her husband and , in return, the husband should maintain the family as a whole.

Identify problems in Muslim family

There are many ways for Muslim married couples to put their life back on the right track. We shall talk about various ways that can be used in order to restore stability or to prevent troubles in their marriage.

Before tackling the principles to follow in order to achieve a good wife-husband relationship, it is important to mention that there are many cases where spouses treat each other as adversaries rather than partners. In that case, the husband acts as a neglecting boss. In return the wife finds herself putting high effort to communicate with him. Additionally, some wives show their husband that they are never satisfied with what they have. This tends to discourage them. And lastly, it is possible that some husbands humiliate and physically abuse their wives since they have no voice within the family. It is quite disappointing to view such examples in marriage that Allah (SWT) created it for good.

Allah described marriage very differently in the Holy Quran:

‘. . . He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts) . . . ” (Quran 30:21)

In order to restore a good wife-husband relationship, Islam allowed the wife to be responsible.  She can intervene in different ways in order to achieve a peaceful marital relationship and a blessed house.  Lets have a look at them.

Communication in Muslim family 

Communication, communication, and communication! The wife should open conversation and communicate with her husband. It can be about his or her inner feelings.  This helps to figure out together some solutions in order to solve the problem as early as possible. It is important to not bring up past problems since it will ignite anger. In case the wife is the one to blame, admit that you’ve made a mistake, and the same applies for the husband.

Be your Husband’s friend

Be kind, loving and exciting with your mate! There’s nothing wrong with acting young and a bit childish. Show interest in your husband’s hobbies, play together, plan a movie night, hangout in museums, etc. Always plan and act together in order to escape the routine that kills the spark between couples.

 Ask for help

If the above steps failed to achieve the goal, then the wife should seek help from her legal guardian (the father), relatives, and friends. Firstly, the father will intervene in a respectful manner with a rational mindset to overcome the problems between his daughter and her husband. Witi humor, fine speech, good choice of words and no anger, the father will succeed in easing the tension. In the case this didn’t workout, the husband’s friend might intervene if there is a mutual respect, trust and understanding between them. Lastly, another key player here is the relatives. Allah The Almighty Says (what means):

And if you fear dissension between the two, send an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allah is Ever Knowing and Acquainted [with all things].[Quran 4:35]

Show appreciation

The wife should show appreciation for what the husband is offering for the family. Avoiding any comparison, harsh words, and showing dissatisfaction is exactly what is needed here. The Prophet (SAWS) was reported to have said: ‘On the Day of Judgment, God will not look upon the woman who has been ungrateful to her husband.” No one likes to feel unappreciated, especially your husband, trust me.

Give him alone time!

If the husband asks for alone time with his friends, or even with no one, let him. The need for alone time doesn’t mean lack of respect or love, on the contrary, the husband needs to feel that he missed his wife and that she can be independent. The wife should never make her husband feel like he is committing a crime.

These steps should make marriages improve and tension-free on the long-run. Marriages require patience, understanding, and forgiveness in order to be back on the right track.