Why should a woman get married?
While the self-help section of any bookshop will contain a plethora of material concerning how a woman should go about marrying, few if any such stores will have a single volume explaining why a woman should do so in the first place.
Yet the answer is long since given in the Holy Qu’ran. We read, ‘And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect'(30:21).
Understanding the meaning of these words protects people from errors committed upon entering matrimony. All too often these unions are formed upon the basis of reaching a suitable age, parental insistence or the pressure of the outside world. Yet not one of these factors is capable of explaining why we go ahead with this.
A central element of marriage is mutual understanding between spouses and mutual respect. If either of these components are missing, the result will be constant disagreements leading to serious arguments and erupting in divorce. Husbands and wives seeking to prevail in arguments fail to understand the essence of marriage.
Many misgivings which young women have about marriage are rooted in stereotypes that have become entrenched in society. Some fear forfeiting their freedom and becoming dependent upon their spouse. This derives from ignorance of fundamental tenets of Islam which views the wife as equal to her husband, entitled to work, independently choose her hobbies and make important decisions regarding family life.
Our beloved Prophet (PBUH) teaches us “There is nothing like marriage, for two who love one another.” In marriage, the spouses protect each other and contribute to each other’s spiritual growth. When a young woman enters matrimony she receives a guardian who is henceforth tasked with her care and is responsible before the Almighty for her wellbeing. By giving her husband her support, the woman cements their mutual obligations.
Solitude is a heavy burden. Its full weight becomes apparent with the onset of old age. Marriage safeguards us from this. Moreover, the feeling of constant support motivates us to conquer new heights and endows us with positive emotions.
Some young women fear the responsibilities that come with marriage and therefore prefer to avoid the pursuit of family life altogether. Yet the world around us is made in such a way that we cannot avoid responsibility indefinitely. We are responsible to our parents, friends and all those closest to us. Our work holds us responsible for every action and word. In one way or another we encounter this phenomenon in our lives and cannot avoid it. A conscientious person is distinguished by the ability to be responsible and independent simultaneously.
For a detailed explanation as to why a woman should enter matrimony, we should look to the Holy Qu’ran. Our beloved Prophet (PBUH) spoke thus of marriage: “This world is but provisions, and there is no provision in this world better than a righteous wife.”